oh, hi

it's been ages and ages since i've written--over a year. somewhere in there i got the idea that this project was all wrong, because i wasn't feeling drawn to beauty--or the search for it--in the same way i used to be.

i think it had something to do with falling in love.

the swooshy, ready-to-get-swept-up-up-up-and-away parts of myself were already so wildly engaged that this project lacked luster. c'est l'amour...

also, my love--he didn't get what i was doing here. or he got it but wished it was something else. i'm not sure.

and, finally, largely because of that relationship, i began to look at the parts of myself i'd been avoiding for so long and the effort of that work--the highs and the lows of it--also overshadowed the place this project had in my heart.

but that's only part of the story.

love, and insecurity and much-needed internal turmoil kept my right brain busy leaving 'ole lefty wondering how to make sense of this divergence. and you know what? i think the little guy did it:

stay tuned for a shift towards transcendence...

Gregory

I am falling in love, and it is beautiful. 

I have connected to an exquisite soul in a darling man, and it is so so gloriously beautiful to see that the legends of love are true.

The sour fog of crushing and pining and wishing and doubting has cleared, and the words of love songs like these are so astonishingly real I feel they were written for us to sing to each other.

This clarifying quality is typical of certain beautiful, transcendent experiences. Different from those that overwhelm the mind enveloping us in vast, warm oceans of incomprehensible pleasures, these beauties are the sterling deluge of cold water from above that remind us - with physical irrefutability - of every nerve and every cell and every pulse of our being and leave us wondering how we could ever have walked and breathed and loved and learned without remembering at each instant the stuff we and everything are made of.