Friday, February 19, 2010

most beautiful thing of the day: peace on the lower east

it has been going this way for me lately: i am removed and aloof (or am performing as such) servicably alive despite a dull ache; then i am brought in against my will and am uncomfortable; then in it and relieved to be so capable; then reflecting, inspired and happy and potent.

this evening walking to the train with friends, we all noticed two men in an argument at the corner of ludlow and rivington and it seemed we would do the usual head shaking and mental well-wishing and continue along. one of us strayed from our pack though and went up to the men to insert herself into the mix. a familiar and toxic, panic and impotence flooded my heart as i saw my radical, queer, feminist, hopeful, small, back-pack-and-glasses-wearing friend dwarfed by the big, dumb agression she wanted to stop. we joined her though asking that she step back, trying to reason her out of her grass-roots vision. she countered that she'd done this before, and that it works really well and feels AMAZING. but, noticing my distress, said she wouldn't this time. by this time the two men had gotten away from us, but in our travels and stops and starts at interrupting them, the louder of the two had noticed us noticing him. heading home all over again we ran into him and ended up hearing what had gone wrong, comiserating, hearing about his writing career and talking a little bit about the american penal system and in general having a pretty lovely chat considering.

and that's where the beauty was today--in the shift made possible by having to get involved. this kind of beauty is getting more and more familiar to me--i am really enjoying the way things have been going for me lately.

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